i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize