His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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