shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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