so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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