Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
