I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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