she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
