Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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