Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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