No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
