come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
