the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
