perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
