my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
