Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize