11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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