i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
