I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
there is glitter all over my balls
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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