She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
