I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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