I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
