Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
