When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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