today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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