Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
