Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Everything about him screamed your future.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
