it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
