Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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