dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
