addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
