you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
