Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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