I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
