Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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