I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I would ride that face into the sunset
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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