Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
