Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
someone owes me an orgasm
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
