Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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