i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
