More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
