Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
