Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
