it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize