you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
