yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
please don't ironically join a cult
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