Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
