fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
