it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
