Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
