whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
