I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my vag is so smooth its legendary
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this boner is exhausting
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
