This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize