Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I am one with the molecules
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
