How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
