How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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