I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Your penis caused this!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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