if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
