Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
